One of the biggest reasons for the Beast Wars TV show’s success was its rich cast of well-developed characters. And then there was Scorponok.
Yup.
On paper, he seemingly had a lot going for him: He was second-in-command of the Predacons, a fanatical loyalist to Megatron, something of a scientist himself, but also, somehow, not very bright.
This was about as cool as he ever looked.
In practice, though, basically none of this wound up going anywhere, except for the “not too bright” part, and he ended up mostly being a dumb goon who spent his time getting owned by everyone else (including his teammates).
Seen here in his natural state.
It didn’t help that other characters gradually occupied all his roles better. The science stuff would fall to Tarantulas, Inferno’s introduction provided a far more fun fanatical loyalist, and Waspinator turned being a dumb, easily-owned goon into an art form. It kind of left Scorponok with no real role in the series, and his exit at the start of Season 2 happened with basically no fanfare or notice. To be fair, he’s getting a bit of a redemption arc in IDW’s Beast Wars comics, where he’s portrayed as an effective subcommander, and a talented computer hacker.
His original overly-cool toy.
The funny thing about the TV version of the character not working out is that his original toy was a cool one, a large, Mega-sized, gimmick-laden chunk of plastic, something that retroactively feels too cool for this dork (as well as out of scale). So, when Kingdom got around to updating him, he wound up shrunk down to a much-more-appropriate Deluxe-sized figure. It took me awhile to get around to this one, and I blame the character. Anyway, let’s see if he has any relevance in 2021.
Robot Mode
Gormless as ever.
I had to check screenshots to make sure this guy was accurate, and it turns out, he really does look like this, my memories of the original toy just overwrote it (appropriate for him). And to be fair, he’s not a direct copy of his Mainframe CGI model, since Kingdom aims for less-stylized animal modes, so his claws are more angular and jagged (I think they look like eyeless heads with mouths now) and he has a more realistic-looking stinger, as well as larger scorpion legs hanging off his back.
Short kings get no respect amongst the Preds.
The biggest change here, though, and a big issue with his appearance, is that he has really stumpy legs compared to his TV show proportions, making him oddly short and squat compared to his small-screen design, which was a lot lankier. It’s really distracting, and really obvious visually, even if it kind of fits a hapless goon like himself.
What a sourpuss.
His facesculpt is really funny to me. It’s faithful to the show, but it’s sculpted with a frowny, sour look to it. It’s like he knows what his lot in life is, and is disgusted. Speaking of that, his colors are extremely faithful, too, and are a sort of a modern update of a “generic Decepticon” colorscheme, a combination of grey and purple, with pops of red and gold. It’s a pretty good look!
Well, he can accurately get owned, at least.
In hand, though, he feels kind of not great. Something about the quality of his construction and materials, the way his joints feel, it’s sort of below the standards of the War for Cybertron trilogy, in a way that’s hard to pin down. He’s more like a Prime Wars toy, if that makes sense.
He thinks he’s looking tough, but he’s really showing off those messy beast legs.
One big issue is his red beast legs hanging off his back. They don’t really have a place to snap in, and in addition, some of the joints are really loose, meaning they pop off easily, and just make the whole figure feel kind of flimsy. I found a configuration where they stay in place, but it’s on friction instead of, say, tabs, and is definitely not suggested in any instructions or pictures.
It’s hard to sneak around with clampy claws like his.
On the positive side, despite his stumpy legs and topheavy body, he’s really stable on his feet, which is impressive, and he can even still stand on one foot, He’s also got pretty good articulation. His waist is a bit blocked, but it’s there, his ankles tilt, his claws snap nicely, and even come with wrist swivels. Most impressive is his tail, it’s got four joints in it, and unlike a lot of scorpion toys, it can actually make it over his head, and strike down in front of him (even if it’s not very far).
A near miss.
Another cool little quirk that pictures can’t convey: His claws make a satisfying little plastic clamping noise when you snap them shut. I’ve definitely picked him up and played castanets a couple times.
The show never got around to showing off his passion for dance.
For accessories and gimmicks, it’s all in the claws, baybee, though it’s a far cry from the original’s spring-loaded stuff.
He’s never been this cool.
He’s got a War for Cybertron port on the inside of each claw, perfect for mounting blast effects, guns, and whatever else fits (he’s also got a pair of ports on the soles of his feet).
*Insert war cry here*
He comes with a pair of accessories himself: A double-missile, painted red, which can fit into either claw, and a little bee.
I really wish the missiles weren’t hollow on one side. I don’t usually complain about that, but when it comes to these missiles there’s always going to be an angle they look bad from.
Sure, they look fine from here…
…but from a lot of angles, not so much.
I love the bee, though. The original figure could shoot a bee out of his claws, and he used “Cyberbees” a couple times on the show, too, so he’s got a tiny one.
“Fly, my pretty!”
It’s got a surprisingly detailed, angry sculpt, in grey plastic, with red eyes, and purple wings, and a big port on its back for mounting.
Kinship.
Transformation
This is a weird one. Basically, he lies down on his chest, you swap his head out (exposing neat spark-chamber sculpting inside his chest), and then you twist his waist sideways, and hide one leg inside his tail, and another in his body.
Heart of Darkness
This is why his legs are so short, and if you ask me, they should have worked something else out. Also, there’s some weird tolerances going on: His scorpion legs want to pop off their ball joints, and meanwhile, you need to use excessive force to pull his waist out, which doesn’t feel great. And on top of that, nothing on his underside really pegs in, it just kind of crams there and hangs.
The underside of his beast mode, to show off his bad robot part management, or a hidden Tentakil mode? You decide!
On the upside, at least it’s a fairly fast, non-complicated conversion.
Scorpion Mode
Transforming and rolling out straight into my nightmares.
Whoo, boy. Right out of the gate, full credit to the designers on this sculpt. This thing’s monstrous-looking. It’s like a giant enemy from a video game. It’s some kind of hellbeast. If this had been what the 90’s toy had looked like, I’d have been too scared to own it. A big part of this is his facesculpt and its colors, with its two beady red eyes, and gigantic red fangs, ready to pierce your skin and drink your blood.
I mean, why else would they look like that?
Just, it’s creepy-looking.
The most Doomguy-looking of the Beast Warriors.
Here’s the thing though: He looks really good in this form, but he doesn’t feel good. Firstly, like I mentioned before, he’s got his legs, head, and arms just kind of crammed in beneath him, with no tabbing, and they don’t look good (like how those reversed shoulders stuffed in beneath his ace) or feel good (I constantly find myself fiddling with his underbelly, searching for an optimal configuration that doesn’t exist). His undercarriage drags on the ground, his legs are there for show, and need to be positioned to touch the floor.
“Meh.”
Articulation’s kind of nil, too. The fact that his leg is crammed into his stinger tail means it can’t move anymore, save for a couple joints at the top, and can’t strike.
That crammed-in robot leg has locked his stinger into place.
There’s balljoints midway down his legs, but they’re more so for folding them away in robot mode than assuming a good pose. His claws are the only remaining articulated thing, and to be fair, they’re still really bendy. That sculpt, though. It looks excellent. And by excellent, I mean “oh god, kill it now!”
Overall
He just really wants Megatron to notice him.
Scorponok’s not terrible, but he’s definitely the weakest of the Kingdom beasts I’ve handled. Like I mentioned earlier, he feels like a throwback to Prime Wars in style, construction, materials and feel, but without a specific fun gimmick to anchor it. He’s a bot with a lot of flaws (stumpy robot because of odd transformation, flimsy beast legs, nothing tabbing in during his transformation, immobile scorpion mode) but he looks cool in both forms, and has fun claws.
His freaky altmode helps him get attention.
Still, honestly, if you’re not going for a complete Beast Wars cast, like I am, he’s an easy pass, in a line with much better figures. As a member of a full cast collection, though, he’s just kind of there, which is appropriate for his role on the series.
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