Originally Written June 2019.
Transformers: Siege’s small Micromaster two-packs are continuing the long-running tradition that’s been going on since 2006 of the nostalgia-oriented parts of the Transformers toyline slowly updating every Generation 1 toy ever. Micromasters are the mini transformers from the final two years of the original line, 1989-1990, and while they showed up too late for the show, they had appearances in the Marvel comics, and overseas in Takara’s animes, and are now getting their time to shine again in Siege. These modern packs only include two members of what was originally teams of four, but as an upside, they can now form weapons for the larger figures in the Siege line to use. When the first series came out, I was generally pretty impressed with the concept, and it had two hits (Autobot Battle Patrol, and Decepticon Air Strike Patrol), and one big miss (Autobot Race Car Patrol). Two out of three ain’t bad, though.
Series two’s a bit unusual. One set is a team that’s only familiar to you if you kept up with 80’s Transformers anime in Japan. And another set aren’t actually Micromasters at all, but are a pair of classic Generation One characters many fans will know. Let’s dig into both sets. Some of the photos in this review are from Venomously Addicted Photography, who you can follow on Facebook and Instagram.
Autobot Rescue Patrol
Stakeout
If you watched the Transformers: Victory anime (it finally got a North American DVD release a few years ago), this character’s very familiar, as Victory‘s his largest media role in anything ever (barring small parts in the old Marvel comics, and IDW). He’s essentially the Bumblebee of that series, a young Transformer with a central role on the show, closely bonded with that show’s lead human, Jan Minakaze, childish and immature, but eager to prove himself. That important role is likely one of the reasons why he was picked to receive an update in Siege. Despite sharing engineering with the two members of last wave’s Race Car Patrol, he seems to be a new tooling. He’s also much better than those two, which were the weakest set in the previous series.
Stakeout’s got a really nice-looking robot mode, in blue, white and black, full of personality. I particularly like the headscupt, with the visor and the little smile. Speaking of that head, there’s something I wasn’t expecting that really adds to him: He actually has head articulation! It’s impressive to see such a small figure have it, and it does wonders for making him dynamic and expressive. Aside from that, he’s got the same poseability as most of these Micromaster updates: Shoulders, hips and knees.
He’s much easier to pose than last wave’s race cars, with nothing blocking his arms or legs. Sadly, he still has trouble standing up thanks to his big backpack, and can fall over if you’re not careful. However, it isn’t nearly as bad as the Race Car Patrol was ( they literally couldn’t stand up straight, you had to lean them forward), and he can stand upright if you’re careful.
Stakeout’s got the same simple Micromaster transformation as the other Siege Micromaster cars, and it works pretty well. The back of his car mode really doesn’t want to hold together, unfortunately, and doesn’t really tab into anything (except itself), which is a bit of a black mark.
Like the previous Micromasters, his vehicle mode really only pays lip service to the idea behind Transformers: Siege that these are non-earthly Cybertronian vehicle modes. He has alien writing on his doors, instead of “Police,” but aside from that, he’s a pretty standard earthly police car. He’s fairly well-painted, with only the tiny details being lost in the black. He loses his blue, save for his sirens, and becomes a really striking black-and-white combo. Sadly, he doesn’t roll well, due to a combination of undercarriage, and that aforementioned back end not plugging in. It’s the same problem as the other Micromaster cars in the line so far, which is, again, disappointing.
Red Heat
Read Heat (formerly Red Hot, before copyright stepped in) is a member of Stakeout’s original team of four in the classic figures and Marvel comics. In the Victory anime, he wasn’t a main character, so much as one of Stakeout’s drop-in young friends. This modern update’s actually an extensive retooling of Topshot from last wave’s Battle Patrol.
In his robot mode, Red Heat’s a really striking bright red, white and dark blue combo that’s just gaudy enough to appeal to me. His robot mode’s nicely-sculpted, too, with a head that somewhat resembles the classic Autobot, Inferno. Unlike Stakeout, that head isn’t articulated, though most Micromasters don’t have that, so I’m not immediately missing it.
Also sadly, he’s got really loose hips that combine with his big backpack to make him fall over really easily, a problem Topshot didn’t have. He’s still got giant heel spurs like Topshot , but they don’t seem to be enough to remedy the problem, so standing him up and posing him is tough. While you can rotate his ladder over his head, like Topshot could with his gun, the way it’s jointed means it can only point straight up, another disappointment.
Red Heat’s still got a surprisingly involved transformation again. It’s funny how well this becomes a fire truck, despite the only sculpting change in this mode from Topshot’s armored military vehicle being the gun turret becoming a ladder. It’s a nice ladder, though, in that it can rotate and extend. He also rolls pretty well, unlike Stakeout.
Combined Form
Stakeout and Red Heat form a very large ranged weapon by combining back to back, the same way the Battle Patrol did. Also like those two, some of the tabs that hold them together don’t properly lock in, but enough do that it manages to be a stable connection anyway. It’s a more convincing weapon than the Race Car Patrol, but not as much as the Battle Patrol, mainly because when viewed from the top, it’s clearly just two robots head-to-head.
The handle in the middle can make the back bump up against its wielder, but makes it balanced enough that they’re probably not falling over. Also there’s barely any kind of sculpted barrel on the end, making this look less mean than the Battle Patrol’s rocket launcher form.
Overall
These guys have some flaws, to be sure, but aren’t bad. They’re about middle of the road in terms of quality. The series 1 Battle and Air Strike patrols are still the best teams. This team gets by, to me, on the coolness of their altmodes and the fact that they represent characters I know and love, and can help form an impromptu collection of Victory updates I’ve got going.
If you just want some Micromasters in general, Wave 1’s still got better options, but if you like these two characters, or their alternate modes, they’re an alright choice, too.
Soundwave Spy Patrol
This pair, despite being part of Siege’s Micromaster line, aren’t Micromasters at all, though a lot of Transformers fans already know that, and know who they are. Laserbeak and Ravage are, of course, minions of the Decepticon communications master, Soundwave, introduced in that very first year of Transformers, with tons of media appearances since. They changed into microcassettes, and got shot out of Soundwave’s cassette-player chest to go on special missions. This is such a popular, long-remembered gimmick that Ravage even made it into the Bumblebee movie, even though no one today remembers microcassettes. This pair are specifically designed to go with the larger Siege Voyager Soundwave. They’ve gotten updates in the last decade in the Fall of Cybertron and Titans Return lines, but those lines reinvented them as data disks and tablets, respectively. Let’s see how this more classically-styled re-imagining makes out.
Laserbeak
Laserbeak’s bird mode’s an odd hybrid, design-wise. He’s got a body that’s pretty close to his classic toy/cartoon appearance, but a head with a cockpit on it that imitates how he looked in the original show’s first episode, on Cybertron.
Even with that change, it’s an instantly recognizable, timeless design, in red and black, with a lot of painted detail in silver, yellow and other tiny bits of color. For articulation, his head moves, and his wings can sort of pose, but he’s mostly a statue.
But he perches on arms and shoulders really well, like his animated incarnation usually would, and even has a tab between his legs you can flip down that lets him fit onto one of Siege’s weapon mounting ports, which a lot of characters conveniently have on their arms.
He’s got a really simple transformation, where all of his extremities fold in. Basically, he just….makes a rectangle that isn’t trying to be anything. It isn’t a microcassette, or something Cybertronian, or a data disk or tablet like his previous iterations. It’s just….a rectangle. I’m not sure what to think about this, honestly. I’d much rather they have pretended he changes into something, anything at all.
These two don’t have a combined weapon mode, but instead, you’re supposed to flip a tab out, and use him as a shield. It works, I guess, but it’s really obviously an afterthought so they could say he has a weapon. What he can do, and does well, is fit into Soundwave’s chest, for that tape-ejecting action that we all know and love. 
And I’ll be honest, it’s still really fun to do. There’s a reason we all remember this gimmick.
Ravage
This new iteration of the black panther Decepticon (anyone that says he’s a dog is misinformed or straight trolling) is what you’d call a heckin’ chonker. Specifically, his proportions are a bit odd. He’s got skinny lower legs, but really thick upper legs that add a lot of mass to him. His hip-mounted missile pods are also extremely tiny compared to their usual representation, being sculpted details picked out by paint. Ravage’s original toy was an extremely flat panther, thanks to his alternate cassette form, but this feels like overcompensation. He’s nicely painted though, with a lot of silver and purple. I particularly like how the paint picks out his spine.
In theory, Ravage has a lot of poseability. His legs can move at the shoulders and knees, his head moves up and down, and his back arches, but in practice you mostly just find him standing up straight, maybe with a paw out.
Compared to Laserbeak, Ravage has got an oddly involved transformation, and his lower legs like to pop off, though they pop right in. His rectangle mode has that weird kind of non-problem where lots of tabs don’t like to line up and pop in, but enough of them work that he still holds together well. He still changes into the same featureless rectangle as Laserbeak, though, and it’s got the same pseudo-shield mode.
Luckily, he’s also got the same tape-storage gimmick, too.
Overall
These guys sound bad on paper, but I like them more than it seems in writing. They’re neat little critters. Let’s be real, though: They’re basically an accessory pack for the larger Soundwave figure, as they don’t really stand on their own very well, unlike most other Micromasters. So, if you’re getting Soundwave, get them, too, but if not, there’s not much here for you.
(2021 notes: The War for Cybertron Micromasters, as a concept, never really improved very much, and were cancelled after Earthrise. I’d still rank Stakeout and Red Heat as two of the strongest non-cassette ones, but that’s, again, trading on them more as characters. As for Ravage and Laserbeak, they still hold up in 2021, and are fun re-imaginings of the pair. Eventually, they and Soundwave did get Earth-mode retools in the Wal-Mart exclusive Trilogy line, but that entire wave was rare, and then heavily scalped, keeping it out of my grasp. If you’re an average collector like me, than these two (and Siege Soundwave), are still the best mainline versions of themselves that are easily available.)
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